And I just sat there frozen in my chair.
Remember those coping skills: FLIGHT FIGHT FREEZE.
I realized I was quite capable of turning off the TV, of getting up, of doing something, anything, else. So I did.
What did I do - I cleaned my house. Cleaned until it sparkled. As if I was attempting to expunge all of the hideous sexual violence in the universe.
Now I am back in front of my television. Because I want to watch Esi Eduygan (apologies if I have spelled her name incorrectly) receive her second Scotia Giller prize. She first won it in 2011 and here she is again. Congratulations are in order for her.
Yet no matter what or how I try to distract myself, my heart is with the victims of sexual violence. Especially those at the school in Toronto that is at the centre of news reports today. Tomorrow or in a few days there will be some new focus.
For those boys, this is only the beginning of a long journey - I hope not through hell but directly to - healing.