within the main groups:
Joy / Glad
Anger / Mad
Sensual/Sexy /Horny/Turned On
Fear / Scared.
For instance, you could describe feeling 'glad' as feeling peaceful, content, cheerful, good, pleased, delighted,
at ease, or happy. Although each individual feeling is subtly different from the rest they could all be put under
'joy'. You may be more worried about the force of what you are feeling than about the subtle shade of what
you are feeling. Sometimes you may wish you could go back to being numb.
Feeling feelings is a vulnerable business. Making boundaries helps. Feelings are about energy. Expressing feelings is about Energy in MOTION = EMOTION.
As you get used to having feelings, and to expressing them, you'll notice how one feeling flows into the next, and the next and the next. Instead of swallowing them, or stuffing them down with food or booze, or masking them all behind say anger or sadness, you'll come to accept whatever you feel for its own sake. Then you can make a conscious choice about whether you want to express that feeling. When this happens you'll know you're making tremendous progress: You are integrating.
When you're feeling blocked and unable to identify what is going on – BREATHE. Keep breathing. After a while,
tears may start. Or bubbles of anger may rise up inside you. There are many ways for dealing with anger (see a future blog). For some, anger is a particularly scary feeling. For others crying is terrifying (see a future blog). Perhaps you're afraid that once you start crying you may go out of control and never stop. Although it's a common fear, and you may cry for hours now and again, your tears will stop. At first even joy is hard to take. There's probably not much of it in your life. Bursting into song, dancing around the room, running after a rainbow may be brand new experiences for you. Perhaps you'll feel out-of-control or crazy.
You are NOT crazy.
Feelings of sensuality may overwhelm you at first, too. When you get in contact with your senses – touch, taste, smell, hearing and seeing – it may feel strange. You will be getting in touch with playful, young parts of yourself – your innocence, stolen from you when the abuse happened. This is the part commonly known as your Inner Child.
When you were a child, you knew what it meant to be truly terrified. The feeling may have been so overwhelming you've had to numb yourself to feelings of fear ever since. Yet if we don't feel fear, we don't bother keeping ourselves safe. As you begin to feel all your feelings, including fear, you'll pay more attention to keeping safe see a future blog). In common with other feelings you experience for the first time, your fear may feel like it's overpowering you.
Gradually, as you get used to your feelings, you'll start to feel less and less larger than life and more like an ordinary human being. You may become more aware of your pain, and the pain in the world, but you'll experience more pleasure and fun too. It has been said that the more a person can contain sorrow, the more s/he can contain joy. Best of all, you'll know what peace and tranquility are, for maybe the first time in your life.
Remember: Healing is a feeling.