Blocking out memories may have been a survival skill for you. (This is called 'dissociation'.) Now that you want to know what happened, it may be frustrating that this strategy works against you. Be patient. The most easily handled memories usually come first. You'll have to incorporate these into your life's story before the more difficult memories can come.
In a previous blog we explored some of the senses that trigger flashbacks or bring memories forward. There are particular times that cause survivors to start remembering, or confirm vague feelings about what may have happened to cause present behavior.
Some typical times to remember:
- after quitting an addiction
- following the birth of a baby your child, grandchild, or child you know well, is
the same age as when your abuse began
- after the death of a parent, your abuser, or other significant person
- during serious illness
- in a relationship that feels safe and supportive
REMINDER: Although it's difficult when the first memories come up and your daily life feels like nothing but triggers, flashbacks, and memories. Hang in there - it is worth healing. If you question suicide -- keep it a question. Suicide is not the answer. Nor is killing your abuser. You are getting free. FREE, at last.